“Most bad behaviour comes from insecurity”.
Whether kids or adults, every person at some point of time will have yelled at or just burst out with anger. When such outbursts are a regular and in front of children – it leaves a bad impact on their young minds. Unless there is a potentially dangerous situation when you need a kids’ immediate attention, yelling should be avoided. Kids are very keen observers, and they learn more by watching our actions than our words. Even with your best efforts to teach good manners, children sometimes do have a few behaviours which need to be corrected.
Many times, parents tend to forget that kids are still very young and cannot be programmed to follow every rule that you set. So, sibling fights, the loud video games, messy floor and spills are still going to happen and do not fret over these!! With time, they will learn and help you clean up the mess too!
Also for a few behaviours, ignoring them will automatically teach the kids to correct themselves (like breaking their toys will make them realise that they will not be able to play with it again).
Kids often find ways to seek attention from parents. Parents who are already going through extreme stress – having to manage work, kids and staying indoors ; often reach a peak and end up yelling at their kids. But when you yell at kids, they think that it is the only way to resolve a problem rather than peacefully.
Most of the time children misbehave when they are hungry, angry, bored or tired. When you yell at them, they feel it is the easiest way to gain your attention. So, to avoid these attention seeking behaviours, everyday set aside a few minutes of time and give your child lot of positive attention and motivation that makes them feel wanted and loved. Always praise their good behaviour and treat them some goodies!
There are some behaviours of kids that need to be tackled differently – individually. Repeated yelling to change a behaviour will only make the kids more defiant to change. Instead, make a certain set of rules for the house and let everyone at home be aware of the same. Clearly define the outcomes of not following the rules, so that you can avoid repeated nagging and warnings.
Easy techniques like grounding the kids, taking away their screen time or assigning extra homework every time they break the rules – will be more effective tools to bring a change in their behaviour.
Amidst all this you might also want to do a self-analysis of your own stress levels and control your anger. It is important to take care of your health and reduce your stress in the long run.